One little Boy
by Eternalukyou
Summary: This is the story or Kouji And Hikaron From an Utena RPG called OUt_of_The-Shaodws This is his story....


One tiny boy. (perfect)  
By: Eternal_Ukyou  
  
Notes and Disclaimers: This story is the back story of an RPG charter I play in the Utena universe. That Universe doesn't matter much to the story line. Only Kouji belongs to me. Hikaron was created for me to play by my friend Kaoru Angel 17, once again he has inspired me write. Thanks!  
  
The song belongs to Alanis Morissette and the lyric aren't dead on because you can't understand what she says one line so I just skipped it I also substitute boy for girl it in bracket [] like that. Sorry for any of you are hard core fans of her, I didn't mutilate her song for fun, honest!  
  
Thanks to every on in Out_of_The_Shadows for playing with me, and helping me developing Kouji and Hikaron. You guys are the best!  
  
Thanks to all those people who have ever hurt me for inflicting the pain that gave me the inspiration to create Kouji.  
  
Thanks to my Dad, who expects more from me that I am ever capable of.  
  
~~~~  
  
A tiny boy with mahogany colored hair, cried. He stood out side the front door in the rain, crying quite loudly. He was well past soaked through, his black, half tucked in shirt was ripped at the collar where his father had lifted him and thrown him against a wall. A trail of blood dripped from beyond his eye. Bruises, some new, some yellowish as they stared to fade littered his young body. The fight still fresh in his adolescent mind.  
  
'Daddy... I lost the screw... I'm sorry...' The small boy dropped his head to his chest, he didn't want to see the look in his father eyes. He never like the way his father's chestnut eyes looks just before he struck him. The boy wailed now.  
'Shut up.' He father pushed the boy violently sending the boy's head to meet with the edge of the table.  
'Stop it daddy... please. I'm sorry I really am-'  
'Shut up!' He father picked him up by the collar of his shirt. 'You listen to me, I don't like you, I don't love you. I won't love you. Now get out of my sight.' Like a small child discard a rag doll the father threw the smaller boy against the wall.  
'Daddy...' the boy sunk to the floor, crying, bleeding. 'I'm sorry... please don't be mad at   
me...' His father's foot struck the boy in the stomach.   
'Get the hell out of my life...'  
  
  
Sometimes it never quite enough,  
  
A tiny boy sat huddled on a rock in the rain, people dressed in black patted him on the shoulder and told him it would be alright, it would never be alright, never again. She was gone, mother was gone. Then a more familiar touched his shoulder.  
'Kouji...' The boy looked up top meet blue gray eyes, long fly away strands of brown hair.   
'Shellie...'  
'It's going to be alright Kouji... I promise you...' He embraced him, and held on tight. 'The pain will pass in time.' She kissed his cheek and smiled weakly at him.  
'I guess you would know best.' he hugged her back.  
'Hey Kouji, can I buy ya some ice cream?' He only smiled back at her.  
'Let me get my umbrella...'  
  
if your flawless then you'll win my love.   
  
'I'm going out with Shellie, I should be back around 2, night dad.'  
'fine...' his words where cold and empty... he just diden't care anymore. Kouji would always fear coming home from school. There is father was ready and waiting. He was sick of lieing about his wounds, sick of suffering, sick of trying to be... perfect. He was living everyone else's dreams, but his own.  
  
Don't forget to win first place.   
  
Kouji didn't see anything but the goal and ball between his feet. He didn't hear anything but Shellie, yelling above the crowd.  
'Go Kouji! GOOOOOOOOO!' he spotted her jumping up and down. He was almost there, he took a leap of faith and with everything he had he kicked the ball... --stupid ball, go in the net!-- Soccer was one of the few thing he was passionate about. He loved Soccer as a child, he was always the best... only because his parents hated him when he didn't do things right. For a split second he could see anything, feel anything, just the rain on his head. The ball... that's all he saw... -go in, go in..-- It hit the post and bounced back into play, as soon as the ball hit the post someone barreled into him, sending him to the ground. A cracking noise, the taste of mud and blood, then pain. Kouji couldn't help but scream. It just hurt so much.  
  
Don't forget to keep the smile on your face.   
  
Kouji stood in the hospital room, his right arm hung uselessly in a sling across his chest. His chocolate eyes stared down at the soccer ball, it was the last time he ever touched one. He remembered his father remarks as he walked off the field under Shellie's arm (she had jumped the fence and ran to his as soon as he hit the ground)   
'Your a weak bastard child! I can't believe you! You should have made that! I thaught you how to play better Kouji than that! IF you can't make something like that I never want to see you again. Just stay out of -my- house!'  
  
Be a good buy, try a little harder.  
  
'If he can't love me for... for who I've become for him... then I just won't go home. He doesn't want me anyway, If I can't make him proud he doesn't want me.'  
'Kouji, come on. Is it really that bad?' Shellie sat on the edge of the bed. She was the only person to come and see him, she was his only friend now.  
'Worse Shells, I can't stand it there anymore... and now he said don't come back.'  
'You can stay with me till you figure everything out, alright? I'll try and make things better, as good I can Kouji. You know I'd do anything for you.' her childish features fit her frail looking body perfectly. She looked so delicate, as if to hug her to hard would break her in half at the waist, but Kouji knew that looks where deceiving. She was much stronger than he was, she was so much better. She was so kind to him, so loving, so understanding. 'All you have to do it ask...'  
  
You've got to measure up. Make me prouder.  
  
Kouji lay next to Shellie in the muggy air. She stared out the window up at the clouded sky. She listened to the sirens and buried her face on Kouji's bare chest.   
'I'll make everything all right Kouji, I promise I'll make everything better for you.' she was crying, Kouji could feel her tears on his skin, the uneven heaves of her body. He held he tightly and he never wanted to let go of her. She looked so beautiful there in the pale moon light and yellowish street light, dressed in a to big T-shirt.  
'Don't worry about it Shellie... it dosen't get much better than this... trust me I know, I've look. You don't find girl like you just walking down the hall way.'  
'That where you found me wasn't it? Standing in the main quad at lunch, third day of school. I was crying because some kid stole my lunch. You shared with me...' He could tell but the muscle movements she smiling a little. 'You the best cook I've ever met. I remember when I first met you I would forget my lunch just so you'd share because yours was so much better than mine.'  
'Ya, I know. I love you so much Shellie...' his voice became soft, and far away, so lost. Because it was... far away and lost inside... all alone.  
  
How long before you screw it up?  
  
Late night parities and heavy drinking became the weekly routine. Kouji would carry a rather tipsy Shellie home on his back. It was a clear summmer night and Kouji decide not to go one of that parties and he stayed home to watch the metor shower. He didn't know what happened that night till it was to late. He found Shellie sobbing. laying on the doorstep , her clothes ripped and stretched and from the sticky, blood swirled mixture on the inside of her legs, he knew what had happened.  
  
And how many times to have to tell you to hurry up.  
  
Kouji Sat over her as she slept in the sterile hospital bed, hand to his face he watched her with steady eyes. He was so afraid, afraid that she might go to. After nine and a half hours she opened her eyes slightly, pain of realization rushed though her body.  
'Kouji..?' She assumed it was him, it was hard to tell her vision so blurred. He seized her hand.  
'It's me, It'll will be alright now Shellie...'  
'Kouji... I was so afraid...'  
'C-can you tell me what happened? Please Shellie...' she looked reluctant to this request but swallowed hard and began to speak an evenly.  
'I was drinking... again. And I had a bit to much to drink. I was sitting on a swing puking and I felt... I felt soft, cool hands on my face. I looked up and it was some guy, holding my head up for me. He looked so nice...' tears well up in her beautiful eyes. 'he said he was going to take me home... he put me in his car and took me to his house.. I think it was at least. I knew it wasn't my home. A bunch of his friend where there... then he ripped off my skirt and...' She closed her eyes and looked away. 'I was so afraid I just kept screaming... hoping that someone you might hear me... they hurt me so bad Kouji...' Tears rolled down her bruised cheek and Kouji brushed it away with the back of his hand.  
'I'm-I'm so sorry Shellie... I knew I should have gone... I'm sorry this is all my fault... Shellie I...' He didn't know what you say the girl he loved more then life... she had been violated, beat... striped of her bight eyed childhood. He kissed her eyes softly, her eye lashed brushed his face gently. So delicately... she looked delicate now...  
  
With everything I do for you the least you can is keep on...   
  
Three days later she died. Laying Across Kouji lap. She smiled at him, blue gray eyes twinkling with a long lost light and muttered   
'I love you...' just as life slipped from her body. Kouji was so sick with misery he couldn't go to school for the next four days. He decided he had to get away from here... He couldn't stay here any longer.  
'I'm sorry Shellie... I have to leave here... I have to forget this place... but I'll never forget you. Ever... I promise.'  
  
be a good [boy], you gotta try a littler harder.  
  
A tiny boy, now grown from his tiny years stood alone in a expansive air port, the young teen stood straight, black trench coat around his thin body. Wavy, chin length strands of hair hung around his face and yellowish sun glasses.  
-He wanted me out of his life... I'm gone now father... but then again... you will be soon to.- He looked down at the singer red rose in his hand. -This is for you Shellie...-- he pressed the bud to his lips and dropped it to the floor, watched the blossom-to-be shatter into a million free petals.  
'Good bye... child hood.-  
  
That simply wasn't good enough to make us proud.  
  
Kouji stepped of the air plane. The letter he got from his new school said someone should be here waiting for him. He spotted her immediately, the sky blue uniform, the dark eyes, the far away look on her soft features. The sign that read 'Kouji' on it. With out word he approached her, she nodded and they where on there way.  
  
The whole way back Kouji was wide eyes, he had never thought Tokyo was this... big.   
'DO you like Japan? Is that why you came?' The girl spoke, her word subtlety sinister.  
'No.' Kouji looked toward her and tried to smile.  
'Than why did you come?'  
'TO forget... everything I had before.'  
'That bad?' She smiled at him. -I hardly know him... but I think, we'll be friends. Considering I don't have any anyway.-  
'Worse...' He looked back out the window. 'Oh! When the school told me someone was picking me up I got this here.' He dropped a pair of moon shaped earring into the rings open palm. 'I thought that maybe it would be a nice gesture... I hope you have you ears pierced.'  
'I do. Thank you... Kouji. I'm Hikaron, By the way. I- I hope we can be friends.'  
  
I'll live through you I'll make you what I never was.  
  
They became more then friends, Kouji and Hikaron became joined at the hip with in the first day at the Ohaori. Hikaron became Kouji safety net, she was always there for him. TO talk, to laugh, to eat his outstanding cooking, to help him tend the roses at his off campus house. He wasn't your normal guy. He was alone, lost, crying for help. She could hear his silent cries, they where the same as he own. No one had ever helped her... maybe is she helped Kouji things would change and they did.   
  
Compared to him, compared to her. I'm doing this for your own damn good.  
  
'What was your child hood like Kouji? The one you wanted to forget?'  
'Painful... I want to forget it for a reason.'  
'Can you tell me?' She turned on over to her side to face him, he reached over and brought out a leather bound journal and lay it on the floor before her.   
'This is my child hood from the day I could write to the day I left.' He pressed it against her chest. 'This book is all I have left. What in there is the only way I have to look back.' His gaze dropped to the floor, he didn't want Hikaron seeing the tears that welled in his eyes.  
  
You'll make up for what I've blown, what the problem?  
  
'I blew my child hood too... I was molested by my step father... he raped me when I was seven year old...' she looked up at Kouji  
  
Why are you crying.   
  
'Why are you crying Kouji...'  
  
Be a good boy, push a little father now, That wasn't fast enough to make us happy.   
  
Kouji didn't look at Hikaron.  
'Hikaron, could you please leave, take the book and please leave. I'll see you in class... good night.' She didn't ask question, she knew how he was feeling right now, she gather her school bag and the book Kouji and handed her and left him alone. -Rape, such a strong word... I hate that word.- He hadn't cry like this for a good long time, so he took advantage. Most guy won't admit to crying. He didn't mind if people knew, its a human emotion.  
  
We'll love you just the way you are if your perfect.  
  
A Tiny boy watched his mother be carried away in and ambulance.  
A Tiny boy Watched his first true love be carried away on a stretcher.  
A Tiny boy watched himself grow up to quickly from a different set of eyes.  
A Tiny boy watched the world around and cried, the world is a frightneing place.  



End file.
